Valentine’s Day for the Perpetually Single

valentines day

This hallmark holiday is almost upon us and your local supermarket is pimping out their displays with flowers, chocolates, stuff toys and really ugly cards. It’s an explosion of pink and red all over. Nothing says love better than OTT visual merchandising, right guys? It’s a bloody insult to women everywhere, but that’s none of my business cos I ain’t no wifey.

It’s 2015, you would think corporate businesses would get a grip on this stereotype of women but then again it is mainly run by bald men in suits so I probably shouldn’t expect much. This post isn’t all about hating ‘the man’ or men in general, trust. I just wanted to give my two cents.

Valentine’s day is nothing, if not a reminder for the single lady or man of how single you are and it’s almost as if society is repelled by your singleness and worst, they look at you with confusion and pity when you tell them you’re perfectly happy as you are, before giving you a nudge to say that ‘Becky is recently single, you know, wink wink’ or declaring that ‘Oh, you’d be a great match for George!’ Which you will then laugh nervously, make a joke and then slowly back away from the love sick couple announcing you really need to get to the checkout before you’re married off.

The 14th of Feb is just like any other day so don’t sweat it. I’m not going to tell you to treat yo bad self with gifts or whatever (but I’m not saying you can’t either) but I thought to I’d write a post that celebrates singleness on the day that single pringles are very much ignored and possibly scorned.

The greatest thing about being single is you don’t answer to nobody, you can do what you like, with who you like, whenever you like, within lawful boundaries of course. Embrace your independence to the fullest!

I'm a free bitch baby

There’s no better time in your life to be right out selfish because like Bey said it’s all about Me, Myself and I and it’s time you become your own best friend. Like really get to know who you are as a person and make some of the grey in your life a bit more black or white. Focusing on yourself will give you a clearer picture of what you really want. Hey, you might even find out you like your own company more than you thought and realise being alone doesn’t necessarily mean you’re lonely.

To be honest that is all I got at the moment but I will dispense my potentially useful advice now, so grab and chair and get close to granny.

1. Do not sign up on dating website on valentines or the week before. You will without a doubt get inundated with really cheesy/gross messages from guys who clearly don’t match your criteria. People are disgusting on the internet.

2. Not that I don’t think it’s an valid way to meet people I’ve just personally not had a great experience, some guy actually messaged me with “wanna fuck” Clearly, I wasn’t even worthy of a proper sentence, a greeting or punctuation. Jeez.

3. Reading through your old texts from an old flame is going to make you feel warm for a minute before you scroll further down and then see why you’re not together any more. Nostalgia makes people remember things more fondly than the memory actually was, so don’t be stupid and delete that shit and move on. It’s tough love but ya gotta do it.

4. Just cos you doin’ you doesn’t mean you can’t be out there sampling from the sexual smorgasbord, but just remember to lay out any rules before you get into a situation whether it be a ONS/casual relationship/late night rendez-vous, don’t get into anything that won’t benefit you in any way and be honest about what you want. Don’t expect anything to transpire from it just cos ya bumped genitals.

5. Annnndddd this one is for all the fuck bois out there, cos you don’t need them in your life. Nuh uh.

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